35 Years Together

35 Years, Multiple Avatars, One Marriage (Still Running)

Today, we complete 35 years of marriage. That’s not just time — that’s mileage. Emotional, geographical, parental, philosophical… and occasionally dramatic.

If marriage were a movie, ours wouldn’t be a smooth romantic drama. It would be a multi-genre box set: comedy, adventure, dance number, travelogue, war film (limited edition) and yes — Titanic. More on that later.

The Art of Agreeing to Disagree (and Still Eating Dinner Together)

Early in our marriage, we learned a critical survival skill:

You don’t have to agree on everything to stay together — you just need to agree on when to stop arguing.

We’ve disagreed on:

• What “on time” means
• Whether the AC is trying to kill us
• How loudly bhajans / music / TV should play
• And whose turn it actually was to say sorry

Somewhere along the way, we mastered the sacred sequence:

Disagree → Pause → Say sorry (sometimes strategically) → Move on → Laugh about it later.

Understanding didn’t come overnight. Acceptance took longer.

But slowly, opinions stopped being weapons and became… weather. You notice them, adjust a bit and carry on. Our kids helped us mature a lot. 

Grounded, Shaken, Still Together

Life didn’t come with a smooth road guarantee. There were ups, downs, detours, potholes and moments where Google Maps clearly had no clue what it was doing. Yet, through it all, we stayed grounded — not because life was easy, but because we learned to integrate rather than escape. We didn’t walk away from storms. We rearranged furniture inside them.

Enter Children, Pets & Controlled Chaos

Then came the children — our greatest joy and most effective sleep deprivation program.

They filled our lives with:

• Noise
• Questions
• Pride
• Worry
• And that strange realisation that suddenly we were the adults

And just when things were under control… we added pets.

Because why not raise the difficulty level?

Between kids and pets, our house became a place where:

• Love multiplied
• Furniture suffered
• And joy became an inmate 

Travels, Parties, Dance Floors & Questionable Confidence

We traveled. Oh, how we traveled.

Sometimes planned. Often impulsive. Always memorable. From relaxed vacations to “How did we end up here?” moments — we collected stories, photos  and sore feet.

We partied. We danced — sometimes gracefully, sometimes with full emotional commitment and zero rhythm.

We laughed like nobody was watching (even when everyone was).

And yes, we learned things.

• Baking (results varied)
• Etiquette classes (useful outside, forgotten at home)
• The art of pretending we knew what we were doing
• Caring for elders and siblings

The Visual Evidence (a.k.a. Exhibit A, B, C…)

Looking at these pictures, I realise we didn’t just age — we made a library of moments lived.

 

In one, we’re running after a train with flying luggage, child in hand, dog on leash — eyes popping out — which is basically a documentary on parenting and deadlines. 

In another, we’re dancing like royalty while an entire room looks on, amused — proof that confidence and steps improve with age, accuracy optional. It’s easier to be in step in a drill square than on the dance floor. 

 

Then there’s the military portrait — dignity, medals, a tank behind me — reminding me that some battles are fought outside and the most important ones are negotiated at home.

 

And finally… Titanic.

Ah yes. Standing at the edge of the ship, arms wide, smiling into the wind — not because we didn’t know the ending but because after 35 years, we trust that we’ll float, adapt and laugh even if the ship tilts a little.

And Finally… Gratitude

Thirty-five years later, what remains strongest isn’t perfection — it’s presence.

Gratitude for:

• Each other, for staying
• Our children, for shaping us
• Our pets, for loving us unconditionally
• Family, friends, colleagues — fellow travellers who walked, danced, laughed, advised and occasionally rescued us

Thank you for being part of this long, beautiful, occasionally noisy journey.

Here’s to 35 years of memories, and to many more chapters — with fewer trains missed, more dancing and continued agreement on one thing:

We made it this far — together. ❤️