Rupert - On Ego

Your essential nature is ever-present and unlimited awareness. 

So, what is the ego

or separate self, and how does it arise?

The ego or separate self could be defined as the identification of our self awareness, with the content of experience, or the mixture of awareness with

the limited qualities of the mind and body.

Our awareness seems to acquire the limitations of the mind, which in this context I refer to mainly as thoughts, perceptions and feelings. Let us now explore how awareness seems to be defined by, contained within and limited to the body.

In speaking of the body in this way, I refer to it in the conventional sense, as a physical object. This of course implies an inherent dualism between the mind and body which is not intended, and which breaks down upon further scrutiny, but it is the way that most people understand and

feel the body and is, therefore, a good starting point for how the belief in separation arises.

To understand how the unlimited presence of awareness that we essentially are becomes, or seems to become, the finite self or ego, let us take the

analogy of physical space again.

Imagine the physical space of the universe before it contained any galaxies, planets or stars. It is a vast, borderless, empty space. Now in your imagination add the quality of knowing or being aware to this empty physical space. It is now an aware physical space.

Prior to the appearance of galaxies, stars and planets , there is nothing in this aware space for it to know or perceive. It is pure, objectless, aware physical space, pure in the sense that it is devoid of any content or objectivity.

However, simply by virtue of the fact that it is aware, it knows itself. 

The aware physical space's knowledge of itself does not take place in subject-object relationship, or a subject can only exist in relation to a separate object and vice versa. Its knowłedge of itself is, as such, unique. It knows

itself just by being itself, in the same way that the sun illuminates itself simply

by being itself. In this case, that which knows is that which is known, without

any separate subject that knows or any object that is known.

I SIMPLY AM

Now let us imagine that we were able to have a conversation with this aware physical space. Just as, in everyday life, we tend to ask a person their name. 

Now if we ask this empty but aware physical space what it is 

before any other conversation or any other content, it will 

call itself if it were to give itself a name - it replies I. For 'I’ is the name that anything that knows itself gives to itself. It is for this reason that everyone refers to their self as I. 

We now ask the aware physical space about its primary experience of itself.

It will reply, I simply am. 

The knowledge 'I am' refers to the aware physical space's knowledge of itself before it is qualified by any other experience.

And as, at this stage, there is nothing in itself other than itself, the knowledge

"I am' is the totality of its experience. There is only its awareness of being.

We now ask the aware physical space if it experiences any limitation or division within itself.

 However, having no experience of anything other than

itself, it does not even understand the meaning of the word 'limitation or

division’ , and so remains silent.

Do you have a size, shape, age, gender, location, weight or boundary?

Again, silence. The aware physical space has no knowledge or experience of anything within itself that would enable it to qualify itself in these,

or indeed any, terms.

Are you ever disturbed, restless or agitated?' we ask. The aware physical space refers to its experience of itself and, again, looks puzzled. Disturbance,

restlessness, agitation? 

There is just its own endless, silent, motionless openness,

Do you lack anything?' we enquire, already intuiting its silent response. No,

there is just the fullness of its own emptiness. It is neither something nor nothing,

for there are, as yet, no things with which it could be qualified or contrasted. 

This absence of limitation, disturbance or lack does not need to be conceptualised, for there is nothing in its experience of itself with which to contrast

these qualities. Later they will be referred to, from the perspective of human experience, as its innate freedom, peace and happiness, not a freedom, peace

and happiness that are relative to their opposites but the absolute qualities of its own nature.

Fast-forward several billion years, to the twenty-first century.

The same aware physical space is now populated with galaxies, stars and planets. One

of these planets is the Earth, on which are situated innumerable buildings.

We enter one such building and make our way to one of the rooms.

Now we ask the aware physical space in the room what its name is. I it replies, for as always, I is the name that which knows itself gives to itself. Then we ask the aware space in the room about its experience of itself.

The aware space in the room looks around and says,

'I am small, square.

limited, dark and confined. I am contained within these walls, defined by chair shape and dependent upon them for my existence.

A hint of nostalgia in its voice betrays the faint memory of the distant past when it knew itself

without any such limitation.

We suggest to the aware space in the room that in describing itself in this way, it is not actually referring to its experience of itself but rather to the

qualities and characteristics of the room in which it seems to be located.

Instead of looking at the four walls of the room, look at yourself,

we suggest. The space in the room turns its attention away from the four walls of the room and gives its attention to itself.

'I am...

A long silence ensues. It cannot find anything in its experience of itself to add o is essential

awareness of simply being,

The aware physical space in he room suddenly realises that the longing that has characterised it ever since it seemed to have been contained within the four walls of the room was not, in fact, a memory of its distant past. It was the recognition of its own essential, ever present being - the aware physical space of the universe - filtering through the limitations of the room

with which it had mistakenly identified itself , drawing itself back into itself. 

The yearning to which it had become accustomed, as the almost constant backdrop of its experience, falls away as an inevitable consequence of this

recognition, and its innate freedom and peace are immediately restored.

AN IMAGINARY LIMITATION

Let us relate this to the experience of being a separate self or ego. The relationship between our essential nature of ever-present, unlimited awareness and the separate self or ego which we seem to be is analogous to the relationship between the unlimited aware physical space of the universe and the apparently confined aware space in the room.

Just as the aware space in the room was the same space as the unlimited aware space of the universe, so the self of the separate self or ego is the same

self as the self of awareness, albeit with an imaginary limitation attached to it.

Just as the aware physical space identified itself with the four walls of the room within which it seemed to be contained and, as a result, believed and felt that it was small, confined and limited. Likewise we, awareness, become mixed

up in or identified with the four walls' of the body within which we seem to be contained and seem, as a result, to become a temporary, finite self.

Instead of understanding that I, awareness, pervade the body and perceive the world through it, we believe and feel that I am contained within, limited

to and generated by the body. As a result, the experience l am' is eclipsed by the belief 'I am the body'. 

This mixture or identification of unlimited awareness with the limitations of the body creates the illusory separate self or ego.

What is the separate self's relationship with awareness?

The temporary, finite self does not, of course, exist in its own right, any more than the aware space of the room exists separate from or independent of the aware physical space of the universe. It is simply a belief, albeit a persistent and powerful one.

Nor can we say that a relationship exists between awareness and he separate self or ego, because they are not two entities in the first place, just as

the aware physical space of the universe and the space in the room are not two separate spaces. The latter is simply an imaginary limitation of the

former.

Thus, the separate self or ego is an illusory entity whose reality is derived from ever-present, unlimited awareness and whose apparent limitations are

deduced from the fact that it perceives the world through the body and seems, as a result, to be located within and limited to it.

The identification of awareness with the limitations of the body is the seed of the apparently separate self or ego on whose behalf most of our thoughts and feelings arise, and in whose service most activities and relationships are engaged.

Is it possible to live and act in the world without the feeling of being separate

self or ego? 

I am afraid that if let go of myself as a separate self I’ll no longer be able to function properly or have relationships.

The real question is whether it is possible to live and act sanely, harmoniously and creatively in the world with the feeling of being a separate self or ego.

The sense of being a separate self is responsible for only three aspects of our

life: unhappiness on the inside, conflict between individuals, communities and nations on the outside, and the exploitation and degradation of the environment. Feeling itself to be a fragment, the separate self feels incomplete and unfulilled, giving rise to the almost constant activity of seeking and resisting.

That is, the ego is the source of all psychological suffering.

And just as the aware physical space in he room feels itself as an independendy existing space, cut off and separate from all other spaces in the universe, so the separate self feels separate from everyone else. The aware

space of the room is, of course, the same space as all other apparent spaces, but it does not know this.

Likewise, the separate self or ego does not realise that it shares its being with all other people and animals, giving rise to the feelings of isolation,

envy, greed, injustice, cruelty, and so on. As such, the ego is the main source of all conflict.

Lastly, the ego does not realise that, at the deepest level, it shares its own being not only with everyone but with everything. This belief veils

the felt sense of oneness with all of nature, thereby enabling it to exploit, consume and degrade the natural world with no regard for the consequences.

Therefore, if we as individuals in particular and as a society in general, wish to be at peace and to live happy, creative and fulfilled lives; if we wish

to have harmonious relationships with friends, family and strangers, irrespective of whether or not we agree with their ideas; and if we wish to live

in a harmonious and sustainable relationship with nature, one thing alone is required: to evolve beyond the sense of separation or ego.