The Psychological Suffering

There is a very apt description of suffering given by Vimala Thakar. She summerises to say,

"The civilisation and culture in which we are living is based upon comparison, competition and assertiveness. It is based upon the process of becoming. Since childhood, it is demanded of us that we've to  become someone very special. All will become like someone who is known to be special or extraordinary - politically or economically or socially".

So, from the very first day in school life, the child is asked compare and compete. The emphasis is not on learning or studying. The emphasis is upon acquiring the first position  in the class, in the standing order of merit. The children are taught to do that, to earn rewards, prizes, trophies. And in school, the child is kept constantly engaged in this process of comparison and competition. You cannot enter into any competition unless you cultivate assertiveness. Psychological assertiveness, you have to assert yourself rather aggressively and look to your neighbour that he hasn't got more than what you have or he isn't or she isn't more beautiful or handsome. Then you are more clever or  successful than you are. So you are always looking to your neighbour.  All persons living around the corner and comparing yourself. 

So, it's just a psychology of comparison, competition and assertiveness. This very easily leads to aggression and violence. This is a culture. Our civilisation has willingly given its sanction to violence. It's sanctioned powerful and psychological aggressions and restricting the physical aggression and violence with the help of legislation or with the  help of arms and ammunitions. 

You expect every member of the society to fall into the trap of comparison and competition. You help the citizen to cultivate the psychology of aggression and then you expect the same citizens to  be very peaceful and to create a world of human brotherhood and peace. And you expect a very non-violent loving society. 

Thus, the foundation is the emphasis on the process of becoming. The process of becoming is the beginning of suffering. 

In the moment of comparison one runs away from one's own being and looks to the other.  The image of the other that proclaims to be extraordinary, exceptional and wants to imitate that image. So one conditions one's life. By the experiences of that person, by the physical style of living, verbal style of speaking. Children run away from one's own being and are busy with this striving to become like someone else. 

Psychological suffering, has much to do with this process. Unless an alternative civilisation is created which is not based on the process of becoming there will be no end to human misery and suffering. 

It's not only economically or politically or socially that one is expected to compare oneself and achieve something more than one's neighbours or friends. You may turn to religion. And the same process of becoming is the foundation of so-called religious life, or spiritual life. 

Instead of images of politically powerful persons or of socially respectable persons, you have ready-made images given to you from history. And you are expected to become like a Buddha, like  a Confuscious, like Jesus or, what have you in every part of the world. There are these religious celebrities. And it has been hammered into the brains of people that to be religious, is to become like those persons. And if we are not satisfied from those celebrities of the past, we can create new ones from the living persons and begin to worship them. Begin to approximate our life to their way of living. 

And the same process of imitation, of approximating, of striving to become repeats itself. As long as the process of becoming is there, and one is busy running away from the facts of one's life and striving to be someone else chaos remains. 

To be religious, is to be united with the ground of your own existence, with the roots of your own being. To be aware of the essence of one's own being and let that being flower into relationships, express itself in relationship. 

The activity of seeking, striving, becoming is a psychological activity, whether you carry it on, in the name of economics, politics or religion, it is the same ego that is seeking and striving. 

- Vimala Thakur 

So, do we see that the process of becoming Is the beginning of suffering? Hence, it is in our hands to put an end to all psychological suffering. 

Stop striving, becoming, seeking, pushing. Flow with the current of life. Be happy in your frame and skin. Enjoy who you are. That to my mind is the path to liberation and actual freedom.